The Giant Chicken of the Great Sea
by Rainbow Drooling Fangirls
Summary: An evil wizard lurking in his lair... A courageous hero in search of his sister... A fowl of great size... All because of an inside joke gone terribly awry. Rated K because I made it safe for the kiddies. -


**A/N: Hey guys! It's Ang! Well, this story was created because of a joke Hannah and I made while playing Wind Waker… Except I sort of made it into an elaborate story. xD It started when we defeated the Helmoroc King in the Forsaken Fortress. We kept making jokes about how Ganon was going to be angry that Link killed his giant chicken, and how he just wanted to have a feast with the girls he captured. Then one day, our one friend wanted to know what we were talking about, and instead of just explaining the joke like any NORMAL person… I exaggerated and told her this story. It ended up being so good; I made that friend cry at the ending. So, I decided to let you guys see it! :D Well, enough of my rambling you can read now!**

**PS: I really twisted the WW story here. And this isn't the normal way I portray Link and Ganon. It's just making Ganon a complete idiot and Link a jerkface helps to make this short story what it is; senseless. xD**

**Disclaimer: DO NOT OWN.**

There once was an evil wizard by the name of Ganondorf, who, one day, came across a chicken of rather large demeanor. When the wizard first saw this chicken, he cried aloud in astonishment, "HOLY CHEESE AND CRACKERS THAT'S A BIG CHICKEN!" He then began pondering what he could do with the bird.

The first, and most logical of his conclusions was, "I should EAT IT!" However, he knew the bird was far too big for any one man to consume. Thus, he devised a plan to invite all the fairest, youngest, pointy-eared maidens in all of the sea to join him in an elaborate feast.

However, none responded to his invitations. Apparently, he was not well liked around the vast sea…. Therefore, he would MAKE them come. And, with those intentions, he made the humongous fowl his minion. He then sent it to fetch the maidens, and bring them to his totally-not-evil lair.

Once the bird had returned with all the maidens, the wizard began to doubt if he should really kill it. Honestly, it HAD done a great job at obeying his wishes… The wizard concluded, after much thought, that he would spare its life. It was much more awesome than his other minions anyway.

As for the maidens, however, they were imprisoned by the evil wizard. That way, if he ran short of money, he could just hold one of them for ransom money! It was THAT simple! But, unfortunately, Ganondorf had managed to snatch the sister of a certain green-clad hero…

This hero, this foolish, arrogant brat, stormed into the lair and searched for his kidnapped sister. The hero's name was Link, and in a furious fit of rage, he murdered Ganondorf's beloved fowl. At the loss of the bird, the wizard cried out in anguish, "NOOO! GIANT CHICKEN BUDDY! YOU WERE MY BEST AND ONLY FRIEND!" Link then looked at his foe, a bit plainly, and stated bluntly, "If your best friend was a chicken, I'd say you are in dire need of a real life."

Just as the hero turned to grab his sibling and leave, the evil wizard stopped him. "FOOL!" Ganondorf screamed, "WHEN CHICKY BROUGHT ME MY GUESTS, HE JUST HAPPENED TO BRING ME PRINCESS ZELDA!" Link spun on his heels, shocked, and stuttered, "W-what! H-how….?" Ganondorf continued with pride, "AND according to SHIGERU MIYAMOTO, you HAVE to fight me and save her… no matter what!"

Link cocked an eyebrow at the wizard, and said "Really Ganondorf, I have the Master Sword AND the Light Arrows. That's all that I really need to kill you." Ganondorf replied, a bit shocked at his own ignorance of the hero's arsenal, "Ummm…. Who cares? I MUST FIGHT FOR CHICKY!" The wizard was about to continue talking, but he was abruptly interrupted by a Light Arrow to the kne- I MEAN… face.

Link then continued the assault by slashing his sword several times, and after he felt the wizard had suffered enough for his actions, the hero sheathed his holy blade….. and proceeded to push Ganondorf off a cliff. As the hero did this, he yelled after his foe, "STAY DEAD THIS TIME!" And yet, as the wizard to his doom, he felt not anger, fear, nor hatred, but instead, happiness. For this way, he would be reunited with his wonderful Chicky…..

And that, my dear friends, is how the story goes… The moral of it, you may ask?... When you want to eat a chicken, eat it. For prolonged existence of the creature may result in your ultimate demise.

**…:FIN:…**


End file.
